If you are a single guy, you probably have at least tried online dating once. I am certainly no exception and remember when I first started online dating. I signed up with my best-looking profile picture; it was always one of two options:
Option 1: me with my cat (what woman could resist a guy who loves animals?).
Option 2: me in front of a mirror flexing like I’m competing next to my idol Arnold in the 1975 Mr. Olympia contest (for the ladies that love a man with muscle).
I’m embarrassed to admit that I probably spent 3 hours on my profile description, making sure I did not misspell any words because I did not want their first impression of me to be that I write like a third-grader (it’s still a work in progress!). Then, I pressed “submit” and waited, eager to get my first response.
I waited…and waited…and waited…and waited.
But yet, no results. Have you experienced this frustration of time and effort crafting the perfect online profile only to have no results?
Well, fear not, because I have five tips that can help you get better luck than I did when I first started online dating. And for the record, I have an amazing, gorgeous girlfriend now, so I definitely did something right.
5 Tips for Online Dating From One Man to Another
Now full disclaimer, the results may vary, and I’m going off of my own experience with online dating. But I’d bet you will get better results by following these suggestions.
Tip #1: Have a High-Quality Profile Picture
A lot of you might say, “That’s ridiculous because everyone uses regular pictures.” You are absolutely right; every other guy is using regular images on their online dating pics. Most of the time, they are in front of the mirror or inside a car. If you want to be like every other guy, you won’t stand out.
Set yourself apart by putting some effort into these profile pictures. Women like to see a clear image of who they might be getting themselves involved with, so aim to have a well-lit picture of yourself.
To stand out, have a photo that tells something more about you; take a picture with your pet, a picture of yourself while on your favorite adventure, or a picture of yourself and your favorite hobby. They say “a picture is worth a thousand words,” so you can definitely start a conversation with a genuine, quality image.
Also, studies have shown that when women see a man smiling, they have a much better impression of that man. So, smile!
Tip #2: Show Her That You Pay Attention
If the girl has a profile description, take the time to read it and when you reply to her or send her message, include something in there related to her description.
If she mentions that she likes watching movies and that one of her favorite movies is Forest Gump, it would be a good idea for you to say something related to that film.
For example, I remember years ago, there was this girl who I was chatting with online. She liked Pauly Shore for some reason. I knew of his movies, and I thought it was kind of weird, but I went with it. This was around the time of Valentine’s Day. A ton of guys were wishing her happy Valentine’s Day on Facebook, but she had not replied to one single person.
So, I came across a YouTube video of Pauly Shore back in the early 1990s, and I figured this was something she would like. I sent it to her and said, “Hey, I think you would like this video. It’s a funny interview with Pauly.” A few hours later, I got a pretty lengthy reply on how she liked the video and thanking me for thinking of her on Valentine’s day. Paying attention to what women like and showing that you listened will score you major points in the online dating realm.
Tip #3: Quality Over Quantity Messages
When you’re doing the online dating game, every message counts. So when you send a message, make sure your message is as personable and as fun as possible.
You will automatically be sent to the trash section if you send out a cliche message that says,
“Hey, what’s up!”
Instead, be creative with your message and try to stand out. For example, this is something I used to use as a headline back in the day that used to get me a lot of replies:
HELLOOO Looking to chat with educated, smart, and witty people on (Name of the app)!!
If you look at that message, it’s not a needy message, and it puts you at a high standard. For example, it’s just merely saying I would like to chat with you. Therefore, I’m not sure if I want to meet you just yet I just want to talk first.
Another part of this message is letting them know that I want to talk to smart and witty people. This is more of a qualifier. Meaning, I am not interested in talking to just anyone who will waste my time, “I only want to talk to smart and witty people.”
Tip #4: Be Respectful!
Just because you’re online and no one can hold you accountable for all the stupid trash you’re saying doesn’t mean you won’t have consequences. A lot of women would tell me that men on online dating platforms are rude and disgusting. So if you’re being crude, no wonder you are having a hard time meeting women.
When you message someone, and you are having a conversation, remember to be a gentleman from the beginning to the end. It will be up to the woman to decide if she wants to have some dirty talk or take it a step further, but until you hear otherwise, you are to remain a gentleman no matter what!
Tip #5: Do Not Be Needy!
This tip is very important.
When you see someone you like, send your message and leave it at that. If the woman is interested, she will read your message, she’ll look at your photo, and she will read your description if you have one. Women can instantly make a decision about someone in less than a second. And I know a lot of you’re saying: “that’s not fair because she hasn’t gotten to know me.” While I completely agree with you, first impressions are massively important in online dating because it is heavily visual. Once you type those words, you can’t take them back. They are there permanently, and she will judge you for them.
If you do not like those odds, then turn off your computer and phone and approach women offline.
So when you find someone you really like, take your time to craft your thoughtful message, and send it. She may or may not be ready to talk to you. And that’s okay. You need to take your shot and let it be. Do not send five more messages, like, “Did you see my last message?!” Trust me, your chances will not improve, and you’ll likely get blocked.
Stay in the Game
I hope this short article helps you guys out. I know it’s frustrating when you’re online dating, browsing through, and not getting any results. But, if you work on these little things, you’ll likely see some improvement in your game.
About The Author
Demarco, also known as The Low Vision Guy, promotes entrepreneurship, especially within the disabled community. He has taken life by the horns in both personal relationships and his career, and can help you do the same. Email him today for a free consultation: [email protected]
Check out The LVG Podcast interview with LoveAbility’s founder, Jerrica Mah.